The Best of Times, The Worst of Times...

Write about a time in your life, or 2 separate times that are "The Best of Times" and "The Worst of Times"

Well, probably the best of times has been having a daughter. When I was younger, I wanted 10 kids, but as I got older, settled for 1 and that was fine. I remember waking up (I had a C-Section), and when they told me it was a girl I was ecstatic. I made her cute filly dresses, put bows in her hair, dressed her up, she was such a cutie. She's now 21, and these are even better times now, now that she's basically grown up, very mature and trying to find her way in the world. She surprises me at the grown up attitude she has, the independent nature she has, the ability to not put up with a bunch of crap from anyone while still being polite. I love her terribly and am extremely proud of her.

The worst of times deals with her as well, though not her fault. When I had the C-section, about a week after I went home, I found a small bruise, called the doctor, he had me come to the office, and found a heap of gangrene in my stomach from the operation. They had me in surgery within half an hour, a 4 hour surgery, cut me from hip to hip, then left my stomach open for 10 days so it would heal from the inside out. They had to un-pack then re-pack my stomach every 8 hours, and they could not give me enough medicine to take the pain away. I could not see my daughter for almost a week, could no longer breast feed her, and was so scared, not only for me, but for her. I had 2 more operations, then got to go home for a bit. It took me 1-1/2 years until I had no more nightmares. When I was in the hospital all I could think about was a friend I went to high school with 30 years prior, who had died from gangrene from a C-section, and thought I was going to follow in her footsteps. Thank God, that did not happen.

My Bucket List

Make a list of things you would like to do/accomplish before you die, like in the movie "The Bucket List" with Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman. So what is your bucket list?

Wow, there are probably tons of things I would like to do before I die, but the most important I've listed below. Some of them are possible, some of them are not, but they remain on the list.

1. Retire - with the way things are going these days, I may not be able to retire on the money I will be getting, but I would like to retire before I die. Many days I believe I will die before I retire.
2. Be a paid artist full time. I've always loved art, whether it be painting, scrapbooking, drawing, crafting, creating of some type. I would love to do it full time and get paid for it. Getting paid for something you love doing is the ultimate job, huh?
3. Visit the Grand Canyon
4. Tour the United States for a year, stopping at parks, monuments, parks, places of interest, traveling in an RV and camping out when possible.
5. Build my own house, or rather have it built for me to my specifications, old-fashioned, many built-ins, lace, ruffles, homemade goodies...
6. Visit Holland when all the tulips are in bloom.
7. Have a yard full of lilac trees/bushes,there can never be enough, all collors, hugh, fragrant.
8. Fall hopelessly in love.
9. Be financially secure, not wealthy, just able to buy things when I need them or want them.
10. Do more community service.
11. And most importantly, be a better Christian.

There are so many more things I would like to add to my bucket list, but they would be just things...not the important things that mean something. I will revisit this list periodically during the coming year to see if I will accomplish any of these things.

My Favorite Things

Only 10? Yeah, I know, at least 10...so here goes. List at least 10 of your favorite things:
1. Lilacs
2. The Wizard of Oz
3. Nettie
4. Relaxing
5. Nature
6. The rain on a sunny day
7. The beach
8. Classical music
9. Elvis
10.Crafts
And I can go on, and on, and on...a beautiful sunset, reading my Bible, being with friends, cheesecake (duh), Dr. Oz, and more lilacs that I know what to do with.

What Moves Me?

There are many things that take my breath away, a beautiful picture, seeing a vibrant sunset, listening to a certain piece of music, a piece of art, a baby...but the one thing that moves me the most is when I hear Taps. That is usually played at a funeral of a service man or woman, and when I hear that I think of the sacrifice that person made for this country, for their family, for their friends, for ME, so that I could live my life free and independent, think my thoughts, verbalize my feelings, go to whatever church I choose. That music moves me to my soul, makes me cry, breaks my heart, and makes me thank God for every day I have on this earth. I may not utilize every day to it's fullest, or make a dent in society in a good way, or contribute to a needy cause daily, but it is the song that makes me think about what "could" be my life, rather than what it is today.

I Am...

Wow, I could go on forever, or not. I am me, and me is many different layers depending on what day it is. Today is Saturday, so I am the cleaner, the clothes washer, the late sleeper, I am able to work on my day off doing all these mundane but necessary chores that have to get done. I am trying to be creative, responsible, productive. I am emotional, bored, depressed, alone, disheartened, disappointed in people. I am able to choose who I want to be, where I want to be. I am a mother, a friend, a sister, an aunt, a cousin, a Christian, an artist, I am all things good and honest, tried and true, friend and confidant. I am my father's daughter, a Skrehot, independent and stubborn, determined and unsure, confident yet unsure. I am a typical working class US citizen with all these different paths that I am free to take on a daily basis, whatever I choose. I am thankful that I was born in the United States, a strong, independent and morally driven person, feaful of God, yet eternally thankful for all I have.

My Treasures Are...

My most prized "treasure" is my hope chest. My father and brother made it for me for my high school graduation. That was all I ever told my father I wanted in my life, was a hope chest (yes, I'm old-fashioned and in my 50's, so hope chests were a sign of the times back then). Every where I would go, I'd see chests. My grandmother had one, my sister had one, everyone I knew had one. That was all I ever talked about. So the night I graduated high school, we came home and they threw a party for me, and there was my hope chest. It meant even more that it was "made" for me, but that my father and my brother worked on it together for my benefit meant even more. You see, my brother had lost his twin two years earlier, and the fact that he was trying to find himself, he took the time to make one of my dreams come true. I have this chest to this day, it sits in my bedroom. Nobody is allowed to put anything on it, for fear it might get scratched. My daughter, Nettie, knows how important it was to me, and has decided that it is the one thing she wants me to "pass down to her" when I die. That makes me feel even more special.

Some of my other treasures are all "inherited" pieces; a round, carved cherry table that was my mothers, another hope chest that my great uncle made, a couple of small drawer chests that my grandfather made, linens and handkerchiefs that were my grandmothers, and tons of buttons my grandmother saved over the years. And most (secondly) important are all the family photos from my parent's time. My uncle Bill (my mom's brother), whenever we had a family get-together, he would bring out the photos, boxes of them, and tell us stories. Oh, the stories. Uncle Bill passed away about 2 years ago, and I really miss those stories, even though we heard them over and over.

My family is my most important treasure, but we aren't supposed to mention people as treasures.

Another thought I have today...I had to go to the court to get a copy of a judgment for a court case I was involved in with my previous landlord. After living in her house for 13 years, she sued me for $4,000, unheard of here in California, for wear and tear to her house, paint, carpets, etc. But after getting a copy of the judgment today, and realizing that the jack-ass judge awarded her a little over $2,000, my belief in "doing the right thing" has gone completely out the window. I am not a liar, cheat, nor do I steal, but this landlord lied at every turn in court. And now I have to wonder why it is that the liars and cheaters are the ones that end up winning, and not the person that tells the truth and always "goes by the book". I've got lots of thinking to do on this subject, and any thoughts would be greatly appreciated. It's the people like Martha, or Kobe, or these corporate executives that suck all the money, all people who clearly are out for their own greed, that are now more popular than ever. These are the people that are idolized and followed. It just doesn't make much sense to me anymore.

The Chapters of Your Life

If I were to put my life into 10 chapters, I think they would look like this:

1. A Child's Life
2. On My Way
3. Making My Own Decisions
4. What Was I Thinking?
5. Close To Death
6. The Love of My Life
7. Single Mom
8. The Professional Me
9. My Walk With God
10. A New Chapter

I think we all think about our lives as we go forward, as we mature in our walks. We think about our past, our future, what we could have done differently, what we want to do from here on out. It's still a daily walk, a daily event, something that when you wake up you have to decide what you are going to do with this day. Journaling helps us clear our paths as to what we want and how to get it. It helps us to realize our potential, to realize the limits we put on ourselvs, or the limits others put upon us. I think the above chapters are the main chapters of my life, if I had to spell them out, but there are so many sub-chapters under each of the main ones. Those are the branches of life we take to get to our destinations, on a daily basis. As I look at the above 10 chapters, I have learned so much and made some changes. There are some changes still to be made, but life is a new discovery every day, and every day that I wake up I choose to discover so much more. I hope I continue along this path with an open mind and open heart and a willing determination.